Unlimited! For just £4.99 per month*

*Expect, not really, because the price goes up to £17.99 after 3 months. Oh, and this deal, as we like to call it, is only available when you subscribe to another of our services which costs an additional £14.99 per month.

Both have 18 month contracts by the way, so after the 3 months the cost is £32.98 for 15 months.

Oh, and by ‘unlimited’ we mean ‘not unlimited’, but we can get away with using that word in a way contrary to what it actually means thanks to nuanced legal definitions.

Oh, and we may also penalise you for going over the limit of unlimitedness, either with a poorer level of service, or maybe even a fine. We’ll decide and possibly change that decision later.

Finally, there is no way that you can sign up to our service, or any other like it, without the contract containing a line in it somewhere that allows us to provide a service level that’s far under what we’ve marketed and what you’d expect. This of it like a racket. A crime syndicate. Existing again on the nuanced end law. 

Let’s recap: ‘Limited use. For £32.98 per month’. Click the ‘Unlimited! For just £4.99 per month’ button to get the deal.

How? How can this level of semantic mess happen? It never ceases to amaze me. Optimistically, it does kids of sound like something my kids won’t believe used to really happen. Like smokey bars. And pre internet days.

For the record. This post is brought to you by my new found frustration of having signed an 18 month contract with Virgin Media. A relationship that’s going to strain my karma neutral goal for sure.

*shaky fist*