We, like, literally don’t understand each other

This has been the daydreamed title of my future TED talk for some time now. Written both as a working title, and a mantra like reminder for me personally, to properly research and write more about the idea in order to one day qualify to give a TED talk.

The point of the title is twofold. Firstly, the generally ‘literal’ idea that we have trouble understanding each other. Secondly, in the deliberately oxymoronic nature of saying something is “like, literally”, while at the same time it not being oxymoronic, since the 2013 addition to the dictionary definition of literally to include “emphasis while not being literally true”.

In these senses, the following Anglo-EU Translation Guide struck a big chord with me recently:

A table titled Anglo-EU Translation Guide. Column one titled What the British Say. Column two titled What the British mean. Column three titled, What others understand. A PDF is linked to in the caption of this image.
Download the Anglo-EU Translation Guide as a PDF

And when trying to find the original source, I found a great 2004 piece from The Economist which is thought to have been the impetus of the guide.

…when a Briton says “I hear what you say”, the foreign listener may understand: “He accepts my point of view.” In fact, the British speaker means: “I disagree and I do not want to discuss it any further.” Similarly the phrase “with the greatest respect” when used by an Englishman is recognisable to a compatriot as an icy put-down, correctly translated by the guide as meaning “I think you are wrong, or a fool.”

The realisation that communication is difficult isn’t exactly new, but I still marvel at times with quite how deep and frequent our misunderstandings are, and not just across languages, but within them, down to quite casual and local levels.

I’m reminded of a recent confusion with a friend. I said – on a Monday afternoon – that we should meet on Tuesday. They turned up the very next day. A Tuesday.

When I said Tuesday though – on Monday – I meant the next Tuesday, because on a Monday the next day is called tomorrow, not Tuesday… at least, it is my mind.

I digress. Or perhaps not. Maybe you just don’t understand what I mean and where my mind is going. For the most part, it’s just going in circles around the idea that we don’t understand each other, literally.