An awesome retort to a sadly familiar lacklustre phrase. Also, a public speaking masterclass, as this quote is verbatim, from on stage at TEDxWarwick.

They’ll be one phrase that comes up again and again, and it’s not the scariest  I’ve dealt with, but it is the most effective at derailing this important conversation. And it will say this. It will say, 

‘Not all men.’

And to that I’ll say this. 

‘No, not all men, but too many.’ 

Too many men, for some reason, feel entitled to women and marginalised genders’ bodies. Too many men, whether through action or inaction, are perpetuating a culture of sexism that breeds inequality, and that leads to violence. 

And if you wanna use a phrase ‘Not old men’, how about we use it like this. Not all men are calling out their friends when he says something to a woman he would never say to a guy. Not all men are looking up these phrases, learning what rape culture really is, how misogyny really operates. 

And no, not all men are perpetrators, of course they’re not. But all the ones who aren’t should be solving this with us. Because maybe if they were, we’d be living in a society where when I talk to guys or male politicians about sexual violence, they wanna solve it with me more than they wanna prove that they’re not the problem. 

Maybe if we were living in that world, when someone upskirts me and takes photos without my consent, I don’t have to almost lose it creating a law that should’ve already been there for me. Because here’s the thing. When good men do engage with this work, when they really want to solve this, and they meaningfully engage, it works. 

Make time to watch the whole thing if you can. And you can, so do.